water change

I mentioned some months past that, as part of my general fish-caretaker duties, I occassionally change some of their water to keep it fresh and clean and devoid of grossness. Usually, I only have to do this about once a week, but as it turns out, I tried to do it earlier this week and then made the mistake of leaving the blinds open during the day, spawning a massive algae outbreak in both of the tanks.


So, being a good fish mommy,* I decided I would change the water again and see if that helped clear it up.


The only problem with this is that the Swimmers are not a huge fan of the water change process. In fact, I think I am justified in saying they are TOTAL DRAMA QUEENS regarding the whole scenario. Allow me to explain how this goes.


Traditionally, as I bop around the apartment, occasionally tripping and stubbing my toe,** I stop once in a while to gaze adoringly at the tanks. This morning, I did just this, and discovered that the tank in my room was in especially bad shape, and so I decided to remedy the situation. I took out the plants, put them in some mildly soapy water, and emptied about 20% of the tank's water to prep for the water change.


At this point I realized you should fully understand what I was up against, and so I present. . . THE SITUATION:





You'll note how nice the new water looks. And that it is in a Poland Spring bottle, because up until recently, I also used spring water for the fish. Not for me, mind you, but for the fish. (I have a Brita filter on the faucet, which recently betrayed me by cracking and spraying a jet of water up toward my face every time I tried to use it. Bastard.) Now, I have a slightly different system, which I'll get to in a minute.

Anyhow, since I was going to be cleaning the tank and the plants, I decided I had to take the fish out. Preggers and The Kid were greatly unamused.




This photo is actually a good chance for me to mention that I am still not positive that Preggers is, in fact, with child. Or with fishies, as it were. Yes, the life of a fish owner is constantly plagued by that epic question --


I still can't tell. Figures.


Anyhow. Back to my tale of woe. The actual water change is not that big of a deal. It looks like this:



To the fishes, however, apparently it is like this:





They swim around like mad, then take shelter, then sulk for the better part of the weekend if I change the water while they're still around. (But they're none too happy to be plopped in a tupperware while I clean, either, so my little divas really need to make up their minds.)

But lo! The water changing process is not done! I have recently bought a water conditioner to use so that I can put tap water into the tanks instead of spring water, which is a) a lot of money and b) hard to lug in bulk when you live in ze city.

Look! It even has BioExtract, which . . . does something awesome for the water! Wohoo! So I put the water conditioner into the tank (a few drops), stir it around, and then, the final touch: aquarium salt. About a teaspoon, to be exact. It's like rock salt, only specially formulated for freshwater aquariums.




Why salt, you ask? Because it is a natural gill enhancer and stress reliever.*** In short, it is fishy prozac, and after their ordeal, they need it. So I sprinkle a little of that in, add back the now clean plants, and finally put the fishes back in their tank.

Where they immediately flee and hide from me for two days. Ungrateful punks. Le sigh. Parenthood.

Stephanie

*And one facing her exams, which OMGHASNOTHINGTODOWITHTHIS.
** You and me are SO OVER, coffee table.
*** Or something.

updates! omg!

Wot's this? An update?!

Yes, dear readers, I am actually updating the blog. It's loooong overdue, and I have many excuses ready. This semester has been a bear, and while it is not over yet, I have only now reached the ultimate nirvana of procrastination that could lead me to update my long-neglected blog.* And so much has happened with the fishes! And by "so much," I mean, "THEY GOT BIGGER."

"Bigger? Pshhh. How much bigger?"

I submit for your consideration:

The fishes, as we last saw them in December 2009:

Wee little turds, they are! LADDIES AND LASSES!

And the fishies about a week ago, in their small tank, feeding like the sassy gluttons they were born to be:

If you listen closely, you can actually hear them going, "glump, glump, glump. . ." That is a fishy chewing noise, detectible only to the trained fishy-rearing ear.**

But that is not all that has shaken the fishies world, oh no! After reviewing the literature on my ever-steadfast arsenal of crazy fish people discussion boards (where one can actually get flamed for dissing guppies or goldfish, I shit you not), I discovered that I had a minor problem. You see, conventional wisdom is that you need a certain amount of free space in your water to allow your fishes to thrive. In particular, you should have about a gallon of water per inch of fishy, a metric also known as the "poo is not food OMG DO NOT EAT THAT FISHIES!" rule. In recent weeks,*** the Von Trapp Family Swimmers had reached critical mass on this count. There are about 12 or 13 of them, and at 1/2 to an inch apiece, they were a bit too much for my wee six gallon tank.

So I did what any intrepid fishy mommy would do. I gathered my ale and vittles, saddled up, and clicked my way over to Amazon. And behold! The fruits of my labors: The Marineland Eclipse Total Filtration System 12. The flagship tank of the Marineland Eclipse line, and the Swimmers' new home! Do I smell another comparison coming on? INDEED I DO.

The original tank, in all its teeny glory:

Serviceable, compact. And home to far too many fishies for its size.

And the new tank, its hulking presense totally redefining my living room:

I haven't gotten rid of the old tank, mind. It has been relocated to my bedroom, where it houses a fish I'm about 85% sure is pregnant and a companion fish to keep her from going insane. I call them Preggers and The Kid.

The rest of the fish are hanging out in the main tank, and hopefully once Preggers pops, I'll be able to put her and The Kid in the big tank and use the little one for the wee incestuous babies. Fingers crossed, people.

That's all for now. I sense finals season is heating up, though, so we should be back in business on the updating front. Wohoo for spring!

Stephanie

*Why, yes, finals ARE just a week away. How did you know?

** Slash, ridiculous fish owner.

*** Months. Whatever. I've been busy.