Clementine vs. Clementine

The showdown! I figured that Clem needed to exercise a little bit since she never gets to play with the other fishies. My father suggested I put her up next to a mirror so she would think another fighting fish was nearby. So I plucked my little pocket mirror out of my bag and . . . VOILA!

No response. None. Nada. Zip. Snoozerino.

So then I went into the bedroom and unhooked my full-length mirror from the door. Maybe Clem just needed a bigger inspiration. Something that would help her DELVE into the world of her birth -- the world. Of the fighting fish. *dramatic music *

So I put the big mirror next to her bowl, and she started to swim back and forth, like she was pacing:

*cue dramatic music again * And then, all of a sudden,

KAPOW!

Instant badass fighting fishy! Look at how big her gills are! And her eyes are BUGGIN'!

All of a sudden she's all Uma Thurman in Kill Bill Vol. 1, strutting her stuff, zipping up the jacket on her canary yellow jumpsuit, wielding the sword that she got from the guy on the mountain who said he would neeeeever give her a sword and then he was like, "okay!" and gave it to her anyway, and generally being badass hunting down David Carradine and his homies:

Oh?! You doubt?! May I present the WORLD PREMIERE of Clementine, and no, I did not just spend half an hour putting this together on my computer:

That's right. Clem is a STAR. She's going to make MILLIONS. And now we must meet with some big Hollywood muckety-mucks who want her to be on Maxim's list of women we objectify in 2011. *Throws feather boa over shoulder, saunters off *

I'll have my people contact you for an interview.

Stephanie

hasta la heatsa, baby

So, I've been bragging off and on for a few days about how I got a water heater for the fishies on our most recent trip to the aquarium, and promising that I would get a decent photo of it up on the site. But this was before last night, when I realized something.

The water heater is advanced, people. And sinister. And possibly sent here from . . . the future. *dramatic music *

"Ridiculous!" You say. "How would you even KNOW what a futuristic water heater looks like?" You say. "POPPYCOCK!" You say.

"Ha! You said 'poppycock!'" I say. But then I also say, I HAVE EVIDENCE.

Let's start with a simple nighttime photo of the tank, aided by your average, cotidian, run-of-the-mill flash:

"What?" You say. "It looks fine!" You say. "Stephanie, you are a drama queen." You say, dismissively.

But you're missing the key point. Watch what happens when I turn. The flash. OFF.


That's right. You see that light? The package claims that it means the water heater is currently, you know, heating. But this is a lie! A LIE!

How do I know? Because this ^^^ looks an awful lot like THIS:

Yep. My fishies are going to be attacked by the Terminator whilst we sleep. There will be gnashing of teeth, and fins, and then -- THEN -- I will get to come out of my room and use my Arnold Schwarzenegger impression! WOHOO! *\o/*

I. . . shall return.

Stephanie

dooon't stop, believin' (oooh-ooh-ohhhhhhhh!)

The fishies have had a day or so to get settled in, and we have some issues, folks. As I mentioned before, I bought a water heater for the main tank so that the platies would be nice and warm. Since they don't really sell a teeny version of that for Clementine's bowl, and Clementine would, in all likelihood, immediately ninja-kick the stuffing out of my other fish, were I to put her in with them, I have moved Clementine's bowl over right next to the main tank so it stays relatively warm during the day while I am outside freezing my butt off in the snow. (This morning's lesson: black ice is fun, and full of spontaneous disaster!)

So while I would love for Clem to stay on my desk, for the time being -- until it warms up a smidge -- the setup looks like this:


The problem with this is that every time I look over to see how my new little dears are doing, I think, poor Clementine! She cannot participate! And she must be devastated!

You doubt? The upsetting photographic evidence:

First, the fishies in the tank -- happy! Thriving! Having a wee town meeting in Aquaville!


And Clem. . . pines.


And the tank -- they go about their business! They meet up for coffee!


And Clem. . . mopes.


And the tank! They frolick from side to side!


And Clem. . . plays her Journey albums in the corner.


STILL DON'T BELIEVE ME? I utilized my expert Supernanny-taught skills, coming down to Clem's level, and asked her DIRECTLY how she feels. THE RESPONSE?


That's right. Clem is not only related to the great Allie Brosh, SHE IS ALSO DISTRAUGHT. Unfortunately, there is still no way for me to put her in the tank with the others! And, I suspect that even if I did, it may not go well. Sunshine Daisies, for one, is not enchanted by her new friends:


Yep. JD Salinger here is refusing to leave the bunker. ("But Stephanie! I cannot! They are all PHONIES!" she protests. . .) Maybe at some point she'll be a little more social, but for now, Sunshine is shunning her peers while Clem lusts for a little lovin'. What a tragic soap opera we have unfolding.

I will, as always. . . keep you posted.

Your Intrepid Fishy Reporter,
Stephanie

newbies in the big tank!

As you know, Sunshine Daisies has been hanging out in the tank for the past few months -- ever since the epic Massacre of Summer 2010 -- totally, utterly, completely alone. Singing sad songs, knitting sad little tea cozies, then getting even more depressed when she realizes there is NO TEA when you are a fishy.

Just look at the loneliness! TRAGEDY:

Just listing around, sitting in a plant. It was so sad. Something had to be done.

So this afternoon, a friend of mine from school asked if I wanted to join her on a trip to this great Aquarium store across the river in Jersey. I said, yes! Absolutely! And we went on a journey through Philadelphia's crazy-ass road system (who the hell merges you to the right? PHILLY, that's who) and ended up in this magical place with aisles and aisles of fishies and fishy things.

I had planned to get one or two more fish for the tank. And well. . . things got a little out of hand. You've already met Clementine (below, if you're just now reading this and don't, like, keep my blog on your screen and refresh it every 10 minutes. WHICH YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. It's not like I take months at a time where I'm not updating. . .oh, wait. . .) At any rate, I got a whole new pack of buddies for Sunshine Daisies. Whee, fishies!

Look how happy the new posse is in the tank!


They're all having a blast, checking things out. The newbies are all different kinds of fish, so without further ado, allow me to make ze introductions! I've decided to keep on with the Harry Potter theme (since the last bunch died so quickly I couldn't even enjoy them, alas!), so, ladies and gents, fish fans of all stripes, may I present. . .

Gillyweed, a red-tailed blue platy:


Lumos, a red platy:


Aberforth, a Mickey-Mouse platy (see the little Mickey on his tail?! ADORABLE):


Incendio, a sunrise twin-bar platy:


They're all having a very good time, and the tank is warming up, slowly but surely, as my new tank heater keeps working. More on this to come, but for now -- homeworks and such! Wohoo!

Stephanie

Meet Clementine!

All righty, now that the fishies are set up in their new homes, some introductions! The first is my new beta fish, Clementine.* She will be housed in a glass bowl on my desk, where I can enjoy her serene blue-green presence while I relax. Or do homework. Or try to get my printer unjammed. Or get highlighter fluid off my favorite sweater. The list goes on, but rest-assured, Clementine's zen-ny presence will be a big improvement.


Look! She even gets brighter in a flash:


Classy class classy! Soon, introductions to the new platies in the big tank! Whee!

Stephanie

* Okay, I think technically Clementine is a boy, but . . . well, tough.

New update imminent!

Hi, all! I know I've been totally remiss in my blogging duties of late -- I blame the fact that I only had one fishie (the still-living Sunshine Daisies) and lots of school work and other responsibilities. But I am back! BACK, and with new fishies! Wohoo! Will update soon, but first must clean out the tank and get my new buddies settled! WOHOO!