clean sweep. alas.

Well, it has happened. After Einstein died (so young! so young!), Juan Carlos and Howard were predictably distraught. They swam in circles, occassionally getting stuck in the plants in their tank, and cried their wee fishy tears. Some moons passed, and then so did Juan Carlos. And then so did Howard. They passed with honor, and no small amount of toilet water.

Farewell, sweet fish! Your company will be missed.

I have since done much research on their potential ailments and have learned a great deal more about the delicate chemical balance that IS the world of the tank. I am now guiding my fishies' abode through the ammonia cycle, which I hope will make it a much more hospitable place for their successors.

In the process of doing research, I have found many other breeds of fish, including some that are neon and others that are just plain adorable. Anyone with suggestions, please let me know!

The experiment. . . continues.

tragedy

Alas, poor Einstein. I knew him, Horatio. He was not so bright.

This weekend, my dear Einstein passed away. He had been sick most of the last week, with something I have expertly diagnosed (read: found on the internet) as a swim bladder condition. Normally it is enough to feed ze fishes frozen peas, apparently, but unfortunately Einstein's was too far advanced. After a week of floating backwards up to the surface (and looking pretty ridiculous besides), he simply could not go on.

As expected, I buried him at sea, the scent of Lysol carrying him forth to the waters of his forefathers. And mothers. And foresisters. And foreuncles twice removed.

But anyhow. To Einstein, a brindis!


Elton John was not available to play at the memorial, owing to the short notice of its taking place in my apartment around 8:50am on Saturday, but I did him the honor of playing a Billy Joel concert album while I packed for a visit home.

Absent Sir John, it is up to me to eulogize dear Einstein. ("Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugugoly was?"*)

I present to you a haiku for Einstein.

Einstein, Beloved
Fishy. Your eyes were ridonk,
But your heart was pure.

And in closing, the reaction of his Auntie Missy to his untimely demise (as captured by gchat):

me: you cannot go through life eating rocks and bumping into walls
Missy: Wise words for us all.

Indeed. Indeed.

More updates on how Howard and Juan Carlos are handling their mourning when I get back to Philly next week. Until then, RIP Einstein.


* From Zoolander, the film that taught me that there is more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

America's Next Top Fish: the competition heats up

Last time, on America's Next Top Fish:
- Juan Carlos began to work on relaxing his mouth
- But Howard started to ramp it up, bringing fierce competition
- And Einstein continues to be amazed by elephants, preposterous members of the dinosaur family.

*dramatic music* Wanna be on TOP? *picture of Tyra**picture of Tyra**picture of Tyra* On TOP? *picture of Tyra**back-up singers* Top!

Howard continues his fascination with the filters in the tank, surreptitiously trying different faces in his reflection.

But he's secretly practicing his fierceness. Sneaky.

Meanwhile, Juan Carlos is learning to relax his mouth, which Tyra totally scorned him for last week.


He's making progress, but just when Juan Carlos finally learns to relax his mouth, Howard is RIGHT THERE, besting him with a sultry look that would make any former Victoria's Secret model jealous:

Tyra is not be happy. "You have to be sexy, but not hoochie. Juan Carlos, you really disappointed me today."

Poor Juan Carlos. Will he ever rise above?

The battle. . . continues.

long overdue for updates

Hi all,

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update the blog! It's flattering to know you care. I've been swamped with work and it seems every time I turn around, the boys are in some kind of crisis, which I will document shortly. More to come soon!