This weekend, my dear Einstein passed away. He had been sick most of the last week, with something I have expertly diagnosed (read: found on the internet) as a swim bladder condition. Normally it is enough to feed ze fishes frozen peas, apparently, but unfortunately Einstein's was too far advanced. After a week of floating backwards up to the surface (and looking pretty ridiculous besides), he simply could not go on.
As expected, I buried him at sea, the scent of Lysol carrying him forth to the waters of his forefathers. And mothers. And foresisters. And foreuncles twice removed.
But anyhow. To Einstein, a brindis!
Elton John was not available to play at the memorial, owing to the short notice of its taking place in my apartment around 8:50am on Saturday, but I did him the honor of playing a Billy Joel concert album while I packed for a visit home.
Absent Sir John, it is up to me to eulogize dear Einstein. ("Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugugoly was?"*)
I present to you a haiku for Einstein.
Einstein, Beloved
Fishy. Your eyes were ridonk,
But your heart was pure.
And in closing, the reaction of his Auntie Missy to his untimely demise (as captured by gchat):
me: you cannot go through life eating rocks and bumping into walls
Missy: Wise words for us all.
Indeed. Indeed.
More updates on how Howard and Juan Carlos are handling their mourning when I get back to Philly next week. Until then, RIP Einstein.
* From Zoolander, the film that taught me that there is more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.
Dearest Stephie,
ReplyDeleteLaura and I are deeply saddened to learn of Einstein's tragic demise. Laura has not stopped crying and i fear dehydration. I might have to cut this comment short to go get her a paper back so she does not hyperventilate.
Einstein, your dopey wit will be missed!
Goodnight sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!!